tuesday, right?

missed yesterday’s blog post.  i just didn’t have it in me.

in the morning, after i dropped off emma at the bus stop we headed over to my friend’s house to help her get her printer all hooked up to her lap top.   i hadn’t made it over to her new house yet and it was nice to just sit and BS with her.  we both came to the conclusion that it is time to let the ‘rehab friend’ go.  she’s obviously not interested in helping herself (at the moment) and there’s no point in really getting either of our lives all tied up in that mess that is hers.  she flat out lied to us on saturday and the lies continued on monday.  she’s a master manipulator with no sense of anyone’s feelings except her own and how she’s going to get the next drink.  it would be different if it were just me and darik….but i can not and refuse to do that to my girls.  they know ‘rehab friend’ as their friend’s mom and i refuse to let them get a bad picture of a mom in their head.  the world is bad enough without me polluting their little minds with needless crap.

after i went and get the printer hooked up we went to visit my aunt in hospice.  we got there about 945 and they had just given her some medicine to help her breathe about 10 minutes before we got there.  she was asleep and there was no waking her up.  i feel horrible that she didn’t get to see us, but i know that my cousin will let her know we were there and that we’re praying for her.  she can’t breathe without the ventilator anymore and it’s just really sad.  i can’t imagine not being able to breathe.  that has got to be just horrible.  i brought madelyn with me and while my aunt wasn’t awake, i hope that madelyn being there is something that she will know, regardless of whether she was responsive or not.  madelyn was so incredibly sweet.  i know she was kind of freaked out by all the bleeps and blips and the ventilator but she gave her multiple kisses on her forehead before we left and while i know it’s not going to heal my aunt, i’m glad that we got to see her one last time.  she’s 91 years old and i know she’s lead a full life.  she’s been miserable these past few months and i hate to see her in so much distress.

other than that, not a whole lot going on here.  it’s snowing….again.  darik’s guiding today.  apparently they have one guy who bought unlimited hunts and even though there are no geese/ducks here, said guy keeps coming back since he has unlimited hunts.  darik kinda stayed out too late last night (not kinda, he did lol) so he was hurting this morning.  oh well, serves his ass right. bwahahaha!  he decided that he’s going to take a trip to horseshoe lake (southern IL) next week.  he’ll be gone from tuesday until saturday night.

anyway, i haven’t scrapped in a couple days so that’s what i’m off to do.


until next time…


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someone upstairs…

has an awesome sense of humor, i tell ya.  it’s pretty apparent that i’ve had some issues these past few weeks….so i’ve been kinda woe is me…but yesterday and today have just well, been super awesome. *note my extreme amounts of sarcasm*

yesterday started off with a REALLY good piece of news.  then…it all went downhill.  fast.  to make a super long story short, i had a misunderstanding with someone who i’ve considered a friend for quite some time.  not just an online friend, but someone i would talk to about stuff in real life.  the two are generally pretty separate for me and i generally like it that way.  she feels as if i betrayed her, which was never my intention.  i explained myself to her and while i know she’s still hurt there’s really nothing more i can do.  what’s done is done, i’ve said my peace, i know how she feels, it’s over.  that whole situation made me realize, i needed to do something i’d been thinking about for a long time.  so, i put on my big girl panties and did it.  some words were said by people, i didn’t know they felt that way, and well, it pretty much started what was about to be a very bad day.  someone told me to just ‘shrug it off,’ and you know, i need to take her advice.  i’m not quite sure why i get so upset over people who really could care less about me.  it’s quite apparent that they don’t care so i need to develop that same attitude.  don’t get me wrong, i have some AWESOME people in my life (both digi and in real life) who i know have my back no matter what, and i need to focus on that.  it’s not about the bad, it’s about the good, and i’m going to embrace that.  end of subject.

as the day progressed, i got a phone call from my oldest friend.  we’ve been friends (albeit off and on) since we were in 2nd grade.  she’s hit a rough patch the past few years and has been in and out of rehab.  we don’t talk much and when we do it usually involves her trying to enable me in some way.  she called me yesterday.  she told me she was in the hospital again.  this didn’t surprise me.  i knew she’d been drinking again, so i just assumed she was going to tell me that her mom and her soon to be exhusband gave her an ultimatum (again).  she goes on to tell me that she had a bunch of her NA friends over (who still drink) and they were drinking and she fell down the stairs at her moms and BROKE HER NECK!  ummmm, wtf dude?  for real?  i didn’t get the whole story because she was quite obviously out of it.  she wanted me to take her to the prison to see her boyfriend (who is there for 5 DUI’s).  ummm, i haven’t talked to you in 3 months.  everything i’ve heard, i’ve heard from a mutual friend, not from you.  no.  i am not taking you to see your drunk ass of a boyfriend who is 10 yrs younger than us and i am sure the hell not going to be held responsible for yet another relapse.  i feel horrible because i had to do it, but i had to.  this has been going on for 3 years.  3 long years.  i’m done.  i will not enable her anymore and i will not be bullied into enabling her.  i know how this is all going to end and it’s not going to be pretty and i refuse to feel as if i helped her get to where it’s going to be.  again.  hate this situation

then, one of my best friends calls me.  her grandmother passed away yesterday morning.  her grandmother means the world to her.  i just don’t even know what to say.  i told her that my thoughts and prayers are with her and that i would most definitely be there for her in any way i could.  i guess there’s only going to be a memorial service for her grandmother since she wanted to be cremated.  i told her that i’d like to be there for her, but we’ve sort of lost touch in the past couple months (again, my fault because of this stupid depression…just like everyone else it seems) and i’m not sure that she really believes me or wants me there.  i did tell her though and i did mean it.  i just hope she lets me know.

last night i had a friend who had a friend die as well.  a young friend.  that always makes me stop and think…what if that were me?  *shudder*  i feel so bad for her and their family.

i ended the night by talking to some of my best digifriends…and it really did my heart good.  we didn’t talk about all the crap that went on in the day and i needed that.  to just forget the bad things and be stupid.  it made me feel a bit normal again and that people don’t hate me.  remember…i have that fear…constantly.  need to work on that.

this morning darik and i took the girlies to IHOP.  was SO fun.  it’s not very often that we get to go and just hang out as a family together.  we had an awesome car ride up there, just being goofy and singing along to stuff in the car.  the girls behaved, they ate well, it was just a good morning.

but no, of course things couldn’t stay that way.  i just got a call from my mom.  my great aunt has been moved to hospice.  she’s been in and out of the hospital since thanksgiving and yes, we all knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.  i’m hoping that i can go up and see her today when (if) my mom and aunt go.  she’s the last of the ‘old family’ on my mom’s side.  the whole situation just reminds me of when my grandpa died…and i still grieve over that.

so yes, this weekend sucks.  i wish it would just roll over and die.  i still don’t feel 100% and i’m sure that magnifies everything by about 110%.  i need to break out of this feeling sorry for myself funk.  everyone has bad days.  i know i’m allowed to bitch about it, but i really feel like that’s all i do lately.  i love my life, i love my family, i have great kids, and a great husband…and i know it’s so much easier to dwell on the bad instead of the good.  i intend on  working on that this year…just not today.


until next time…

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it’s the weekend again

whoopidee doo.

honestly, darik’s laid off right now so we both have issues with the days of the week.  we don’t really know what day it is, or we do because of what’s on tv and if emma has school or not.  we’re lame.  we know this.

i’m on day 3 of antibiotics and while i do feel better, i’m still not 100%.  if you’re female, you know what comes with large doses of antibiotics and this does  not make me happy.  it seems no matter what i do i can’t combat it.  i got some acidophilous, eat lots of yogurt…dumb antibiotics.

we didn’t do a whole lot this week since i was under the weather and darik had a day where he was under the weather also.  my mom got to go back to school friday so all was right in the world.

this week i sort of reconnected with an ‘old’ friend.  she’s not really old, and she’s not really a person i’ve been friends with for a long time, in fact, i’ve never really met her lol.  she’s a digifriend.  we’ve been through a lot and we’ve been there for each other for a lot and we’d kind of lost touch over the past couple months.  for no real reason…just happened.  anyway the past weekish we’ve started talking more again and i’ve gotta admit, it makes me happy.  which…not much does this time of year LOL

it’s saturday…so you know i have tons of scrap pages to share. :p














this one is from Kristin Cronin-Barrow’s newest kit Sweet Escape.  There’s also a smidge of Darcy Baldwin’s newest font pack.  this may very well be my new favorite KCB kit.  it’s SOOO yummy and soothing.  something i need.














this one…i love this layout…so much.  it’s using Traci Reed’s newest kit (It’s My Party) and a template by Carly (Queen of Hearts).  i loove that background paper and the scattered elements on this one.  in case you didn’t know…i love this layout lol














i apparently like patterned papers this week LOL  this one is from meg mullens newest kit…b is for…which is obv the next installment in her alphabet kits.  there’s also some darcy fontage on there! 🙂














this lo…well, this is my fave aaron kit so far.  Hearts of Winter.  remember that name.  go to FPD and buy it.  this is the kit plus a template by Carly again.

and last but definitely not least, i have a layout using a 4 way collab between Carly, Jacque Larsen, BZB Designs and Heather Hess.














and with that, i’m off.  i need to shower and get my butt over to my mamas.  we’re making 2 pans of apple squares today.  darik said he’d make some to take to his mason’s meeting tonight (read…*I* will make some for him) so, since i’ll be making them anyway, i’m gonna make a pan to bring home with us.  these are my absolute FAVORITE dessert…well, next to a good cherry cheesecake lol

until next time…

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down and out

oops, i missed a day of posting.  sorry bout that.

yesterday i FINALLY went to the dr’s.  i’ve had a sinus infection for about a month now, but like most people, i hate going to the drs, and i hate admitting that i’m sick.  i don’t have time to be sick.  so, i went to immediate care.  she confirmed that i do have a killer sinus infection as well as a TMJ flare up.  gee thanks, now gimme my meds!  so she gave me some ginormous augmentin pills…and i grabbed some acidophilous and we were on our way.  i’m not quite sure if it’s just being so rundown that’s my problem, but i am just oooooout of it.  i laid around with m, watched some movies, and that was about it.  i just have no get up and go, and honestly, i’m ok with that.

gonna keep it short and sweet today because well, i just feel like it.  maybe i’ll scrap or something…who knows.

until next time…

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feeling a little snuffle-y

not snuffley like snotty nose…but a little like mr snuffleupagus or eeyore if you will.  i should be happy, i talked to a friend today for awhile while i was at work, i finished up a great book series, i could go on and on with the things that i am so grateful for….but i just can’t.  i’m down in the dumps today.  hard core.  no real reason, just the way it goes i guess.

my eye is buggery again so i’m guessing i have to stop wearing my contacts.   i haven’t worn them a lot lately, but i wore them to work this morning and had to take them out when i came home for lunch.

the whole seasonal depression thing has been hitting me pretty hard this year.  i hate to be such a downer but i am.  that’s me.  i can’t help it.  i have a headache 4 out of 7 days a week, i feel like a big blob no matter what i do, all i want to do is sleep and i can’t…so, i’m overtired and beating myself up….just meh.  so please excuse this post today.  i’m feeling a tad bit like i suck and i have nothing nice to say so i’m going to end it here.


until next time…

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the first week of the new year…

so what?  lol

just another day here for us.  we’re going to have to take a trip to the pedi this morning.  first to get madelyn’s ear drum checked and then to get the spots checked.  she hasn’t gotten any more so i’m guessing it was yet another allergic reaction to an antibiotic.

i’ve got emma home with us until wednesday and i’m already dreading her going back to school 😦  she’s already told me that she wants to stay home with her family (can we say heart breaking?) which is odd because this kid LOVES school.  i’m sure she’ll be more than fine once she gets back but to hear her say that, oye!

yesterday we had a lazy day.  we went to my moms to help her out one last time before she goes today to get her staples out.  we went to the dollar store and she did really well actually!  after we spent the morning there, we came home and had a nappy poo.  well, emma didn’t, but madsy and i did.  i got 2 layouts done and then my bubby came home!

i guess he had an awesome time in TX and they shot a lot of geese/ducks.  now he’s home and it’s back to the grind.

soooo, i picked up another ct yesterday (shut up haters :P) and i am SOO stoked.  i saw carly had posted on her facebook page that she was looking for a couple new people and well, i can always use a template for my pages…and i absolutely LOVE hers.  check em out…

Carly’s store

fun, huh?  kinda stoked!

and last but not least, imma share the pages i got done.  i really sorta love both of them and neither are particularly ‘my style.’














this one is with KCB and La’s newest kit.  such a fun kit!

and then this one was just a compilation of our year.  all the pictures kinda skeeved me out, but i LOVE the way this came out















and with that, i’m out.  i need to shower, get the girls ready for a quick trip to the pedi and then i’m headed home to scrap with new goodies from Aaron.  SOOO stoked.  this kit is sooo cute!


until next time…

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4:24 AM

no, that’s not what time it is, that’s what time madelyn decided to wake up today.  i just have to say, i will be SO glad once darik is back  home tonight.  no one has been sleeping well and it’s really taking it’s toll on all of us.  we’re crabby, irrational and just not any fun. lol

Yesterday was a total mommy and the girls day.  we slept in until about 730 (yes, that’s sleeping in here) and sort of hung out until we left to go to target and the movies at 830.   i’d been eyeing these shoes for months at target and since darik decided to take his trip to TX hunting, i decided it was high time for me to get these shoes.


aren’t they delicious?  i got them in a deep red instead of black.  AND they were on clearance!  woot!  i got emma a pair of tennis shoes since her feet grow at an alarming rate, and a white long sleeved tshirt to layer under stuff, and that was it!  that’s like, a huge thing for me….to only get 3 things at target is unheard of lol

after we stopped at target we headed over to the mall to see Tangled.  the girls had been asking to see it foreeeever and since we had nothing going on yesterday until 430, i figured it was the perfect time since we were up there AND there was a 950 showing.  tangled is definitely my favorite new princess movie.  it was SO cute and it was witty.  i’ve already preordered it for when it comes out i liked it so much!

then…we came home for naps.  i wound up going to the wedding on friday night and had an absolute blast.  i wish we could have stayed longer but emily was on call so she needed to go home and sleep for a couple of hours in case she got called in.  i got home about 1030 and madelyn was still up!  so, we rang in the east coast new year and went to bed.  none of us had had enough sleep that night and even emma asked for a nap!

we went to the in-laws last night for dinner.  was a nice time, minus darik.

today we’ll probably go see my mom for awhile and make sure she doesn’t need anything or what not.  she swears she’s going to go back to school tomorrow but i just don’t see how she’s going to do it.  she’s still in quite a bit of pain and she doesn’t even get her staples out until tomorrow.

ohoh…and i think that madelyn has the chicken pox.  although, she hasn’t gotten many more and she’s not acting sick, so i’m not sure.  they definitely look like pox











but the fact that they aren’t spreading and she doesn’t show any other signs, makes me wonder.  she says they’re ‘very ootchy,’ but…gah.  we have to go back to the pedi monday anyway to make sure her ear sealed ok (her ear drum ruptured last week) so i’ll probably just ask them then.

the fun never ends, i tell ya!

well, i’m off to get my scrap on (need to finish that YIR page!) and clean up this house before my husband gets home tonight.


until next time…

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